The Doll with Blue Hair

Many years ago when my daughter was three, we went to the Dollar Store and I told her she could choose one item. She went up and down the aisles carefully looking at all of the merchandise. After awhile she stopped in front of a collection of cloth dolls. They were dressed in colorful clothing. My daughter said she was going to buy a doll.

She sorted through the dolls with brown hair, black hair, gold hair and then she immediately picked up the doll with blue hair and said, “This is the one. This is what I want to buy with my dollar.” I hesitated.

I was young and inexperienced as a mother and I said. “Are you sure you want the doll with the BLUE hair? Look, you could get one with brown curly hair:” “No mom,” she replied. “This is the one I choose.” We bought the doll and it became one of her treasures. Even today, she still has the doll with blue hair.

I learned a valuable lesson that day from my daughter. Kids usually know what they value. As adults, we try to change their thinking by our actions and negative comments.

How many times have you told a child “You can’t wear that outfit. It doesn’t match”? How often have you discouraged boys from wearing pink? How often do you guide your daughters toward the pink doll section of the toy store or steered your boys toward the trucks and action figures?

One day when we were leaving school some boys ran past a girl walking out the gate with her mom. “Stay close to me”, the mom said. “Those boys are wild.”

I have heard on many occasions, “Girls are so much easier to raise than boys. Girls are quiet and they like dress-up clothes and pretty things.” I have also heard that girls are good in writing and bad in math. I don’t believe any of it. Kids behave according to the way we treat them.

Adults often let other adults dictate their behavior. How many times are you concerned about the clothes you wear, the house you live in, the car you drive, your job title, how many vacation homes you have or where you spend your vacations?

How often do you compare yourself with others and base your successes upon their definitions?

As I’ve grown older I’ve learned that it is more important to be true to your own beliefs than worry about the opinions of others. A powerful job title or being famous doesn’t necessarily make that person knowledgeable. We should not let others tear us down with negative comments or actions.

What if Louis Sachar decided to never write again after being turned away from his High School newspaper?

What if Michael Jordan stopped playing basketball when he was cut from his High School team?

What if J.K. Rowling gave up on Harry Potter after the book was rejected by three publishers?

Don’t let other people decide what you are worth. Listen to your inner voice and stand up for what you know is worthwhile. Stand up for what you believe. Believe in yourself.

Take time every day to recognize what you value. Make time for chocolate.